The Mental and Emotional
Tool Kit for Life
To fix anything that's broken, and build something better
Promises I Make
The "tools" are mainly from Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT).  REBT was developed by the late Dr.
Albert Ellis.  REBT is a highly educational and self-help approach to therapy.  Dr. Ellis always said therapy should
be educational, and education can be very therapeutic.  (
The "tools" are ten life skills.  There are a variety of formulas, sayings, diagrams, strategies and new ways of
looking at things that help to develop these skills.  The "tools" help people get into the best cognitive and
emotional place to make the best behavioral and lifestyle choices for themselves and others.  The key to how
people feel and what they do is what they choose to think about themselves, others, life, and what happens to
them.  Thoughts cause feelings, not events, and attitude is always the father of behavior.
The Ten Tools
To learn about why each "tool" is important, what each entails, and how to teach it, click on the desired TOOL in
the list below.
E-books about the "Tool Kit"
available at and other online book outlets
The Mental and Emotional Tool Kit  $3.99  
(click on image to link to
At times, we all have more emotion than we'd like to have. It often causes us to make   
mistakes with other people. For some, it gives purpose to unhealthy, self-defeating behavior
that they struggle to stop engaging in. Generating emotion is part of being human, but it's
not some inevitable product of what happens to us. We can learn to generate less emotion.  
This book will show you how to.
Mental and Emotional Karate  $3.99  
(click on image to link to                             
No one can hurt our feelings. That's semantic and scientific nonsense. The truth is that it's
what we choose to think about others and what they say or do that really determines how
we feel, be it hurt or anything else. I will teach you how to use the power of choice to earn  
the equivalent of a black belt in Mental and Emotional Karate and stop being a victim of
others comments or actions.
The Mental and Emotional Tool Kit for Teachers and Parents  $3.99   
(click on image to link to
Parenting and teaching can be tough. It's easy to generate more emotion than is helpful
and make mistakes, especially with the most troubled and troublesome young people. This
book was written by a health education teacher who became certified in cognitive  
behavioral therapy to better understand and help students, and ended up helping himself   
in the process. He can help you do all three things.
A Quick Emotional Tune Up $1.99  
(click on image to link to Smashwords. com)
Most people don't really understand exactly why they feel bad, and because of that, don't   
realize just how easy it can be to feel better. This book is intended to do exactly what it
says, give you a quick way to tune yourself up emotionally so that your life can run
smoother. There are 8 simple steps you can take to start feeling a whole lot better quickly.
They are steps anyone can take.
Most people live their lives based on a big lie, and don't realize it. That lie is that what other
people say and do, and what happens makes them feel the way they do. Believing that lie
causes people to feel worse than they need to, and to miss many opportunities to feel
better. Learn the truth about how feelings come about, the choices you really have, and
how to use those to feel better.
Stress and Anxiety - How to permanently reduce them in your life       
 (click on image to link to
There are a lot of books about how to manage stress better. The strategies other books
give do help lower stress. However, they are often what therapists call "band aids" that
only give temporary relief, and only while you're doing them. There's a difference
between temporarily feeling better, and getting better. Getting better means permanently
reducing stress. This book shows you how.
It's Just an Event
It's your choice how you want to feel
Click on image to link to
So much that goes wrong in the lives of individuals, families, schools and society is
caused by people generating more emotion than is necessary or helpful in response to
their life events, and what they do because of it, or to deal with it. That is why emotional
management is the most important life skill. Many self-help books give wonderful advice
and information and even teach helpful skills. However, someone has to be in the right
cognitive and emotional place to access and act on that advice, and to perform such skills.
Most self-help books neglect to teach people how to get there. This book teaches truly
effective emotional management by teaching people how to develop an internal locus of
control, to recognize and correct irrational thinking, and to have unconditional self and
other acceptance. It also teaches a step-by-step approach that can be taken to any
troublesome life situations.
(50 Minute, 2-3 hour, half or full day)

   The Mental and Emotional Tool Kit                                                Troubleshooting with Troubled Students
        For teachers, student teachers, students                                       For teachers and parents
   Mentally and Emotionally Vaccinating Students                          "Tool Time" Workshops / Groups
        against mental health, health and social problems                       For troubled and troublesome students
   Mental and Emotional Karate                                                          A Mental and Emotional Tune-up
        against bullying and other social problems                                   For people of all ages
   Mental and Emotional Fitness for Students
        to achieve more academically and athletically                         REFERENCES

     (LinkedIn profile)                                                                     Contact Information

  B.S. Health Education  M.A. Education                                      
  Taught health education for 33 years                                        
  30 post graduate hours in REBT                                                 
  Primary certification in REBT and REBE                                                 815-353-5312 cell
  75 hours past Masters                                                                                815-344-6115
  Represents the Chicago Institute for REBT                               
  Motivational-Educational Speaker
  "Tool Time" group facilitator
  Adjunct Professor - International Renewal Institute

                      State and National Award Winning Nature Photographer  (

No One Upsets You, You Upset Yourself.  It's Your Choice How You  
Want to Feel  $1.99
 (click on image to link to
Whenever I speak, or run workshops or groups, I always make a few simple but important promises to those in
attendance.  I promise to teach them:

1)  How to have real power and control in and over their lives
                  a)  How to choose whether they are going to get upset or not
                  b)  How to feel the way they've always wanted to about themselves
                  c)  How to feel as good as possible regardless of what happens
                  d)  How to keep other people out of their heads
                  e)  How to defend themselves against anyone who's been living there for too long
                  f )  How to stop behaving in unhealthy, self-defeating ways
                  g)  How to have their best shot at having the life they've always wanted
          2)  To be
smarter than other people in some very important ways

The "tools" I give people can do these things.  However, they have to practice using them to realize their full
potential.  It's just like becoming a good carpenter, plumber, mechanic, doctor or anything else.  It takes practice.  
I believe we should teach these "tools" to all our young people as they go through school.  These "tools" would be
a major ounce of prevention worth many pounds of cure for all mental health, health, social, behavioral and
academic problems and issues that student so often struggle with.  I believe these "tools" should first be given to
every new and current teacher for their sake, and the sake of their students.  Once teachers see the value of
these"tools" in their own lives, it will be much easier to enlist their expertise and help in teaching the "tools" to
students in age appropriate ways.  Teaching these "tools" to students should be approached in the same way we
approach teaching reading and writing across the curriculum.  They are as, if not more important to success in
school and in life as reading and writing.
Presentations and Workshops
Ray Mathis

I invite you to read an    
article I wrote that was
published on the
Parenting Spot

Why kids do things that
aren't good for them &
what you can do about it
The further into discipline we get, the more positive it should become.  The exact opposite usually occurs in most
families, schools, and society.  Teaching the "tools" could be a way to make discipline positive.  They should be
taught to all troubled and troublesome young people, especially those in alternative schools or who are
incarcerated.  They just want the same kind of life they've always seen others have.  They've just never known how
to get that for themselves.  Many lose hope.  The "tools" can help them have the life they've always wanted.  To
read more about what this approach entails, click here >
TOOL TIME for troubled and troublesome students
In Our Schools
The "Tool Time" Approach to Discipline Problems