The Mental and Emotional
Tool Kit for Life
To fix anything that's broken, and build something better
Promises I Make
The "tools" are mainly from Rational Emotive Behavioral
(REBT).  REBT was developed by the late Dr.
Albert Ellis.  REBT is a highly educational and self-help
The "tools" are ten life skills.  There are a variety of
formulas, sayings, diagrams, strategies and new ways of
looking at things that help to develop these skills.  The
"tools" help people get into the best cognitive and
emotional place to make the best behavioral and lifestyle
The Ten Tools
To learn about why each "tool" is important, what each entails, and how to teach it, click on the desired
TOOL in the list below.
E-books about the "Tool Kit"
available at and other online book outlets
The Mental and Emotional Tool Kit  $3.99  
(click on image to link to
At times, we all have more emotion than we'd like to have. It often causes us to make mistakes with
other people. For some, it gives purpose to unhealthy, self-defeating behavior that they struggle to
stop engaging in. Generating emotion is part of being human, but it's not some inevitable product of
what happens to us. We can learn to generate less emotion.  This book will show you how to.
Mental and Emotional Karate  $3.99  
(click on image to link to                             
No one can hurt our feelings. That's semantic and scientific nonsense. The truth is that it's what we
choose to think about others and what they say or do that really determines how we feel, be it hurt or
anything else. I will teach you how to use the power of choice to earn the equivalent of a black belt in
Mental and Emotional Karate and stop being a victim of others comments or actions.
The Mental and Emotional Tool Kit for Teachers and Parents  $3.99   
(click on image to link to
Parenting and teaching can be tough. It's easy to generate more emotion than is helpful and make
mistakes, especially with the most troubled and troublesome young people. This book was written by
a health education teacher who became certified in cognitive behavioral therapy to better understand
and help students, and ended up helping himself in the process. He can help you do all three things.
A Quick Emotional Tune Up $1.99  
(click on image to link to Smashwords. com)
Most people don't really understand exactly why they feel bad, and because of that, don't realize just
how easy it can be to feel better. This book is intended to do exactly what it says, give you a quick
way to tune yourself up emotionally so that your life can run smoother. There are 8 simple steps you
can take to start feeling a whole lot better quickly.  They are steps anyone can take.
Most people live their lives based on a big lie, and don't realize it. That lie is that what other people
say and do, and what happens makes them feel the way they do. Believing that lie causes people to
feel worse than they need to, and to miss many opportunities to feel better. Learn the truth about
how feelings come about, the choices you really have, and how to use those to feel better.
Stress and Anxiety - How to permanently reduce them in your life       
 (click on image to link to
There are a lot of books about how to manage stress better. The strategies other books give do
help lower stress. However, they are often what therapists call "band aids" that only give temporary
relief, and only while you're doing them. There's a difference between temporarily feeling better, and
getting better. Getting better means permanently reducing stress. This book shows you how.
It's Just an Event
It's your choice how you want to feel
Click on image to link to
So much that goes wrong in the lives of individuals, families, schools and society is caused by
people generating more emotion than is necessary or helpful in response to their life events, and
what they do because of it, or to deal with it. That is why emotional management is the most
important life skill. Many self-help books give wonderful advice and information and even teach
helpful skills. However, someone has to be in the right cognitive and emotional place to access and
act on that advice, and to perform such skills. Most self-help books neglect to teach people how to
get there. This book teaches truly effective emotional management by teaching people how to
develop an internal locus of control, to recognize and correct irrational thinking, and to have
unconditional self and other acceptance. It also teaches a step-by-step approach that can be taken
to any troublesome life situations.
(50 Minute, 2-3 hour, half or full day)

  The Mental and Emotional Tool Kit                                                Troubleshooting with Troubled Students
       For teachers, student teachers, students                                       For teachers and parents
  Mentally and Emotionally Vaccinating Students                          "Tool Time" Workshops / Groups
       against mental health, health and social problems                       For troubled and troublesome students
  Mental and Emotional Karate                                                          A Mental and Emotional Tune-up
       against bullying and other social problems                                   For people of all ages
  Mental and Emotional Fitness for Students
       to achieve more academically and athletically                         REFERENCES

    (LinkedIn profile)                                                                     Contact Information

 B.S. Health Education  M.A. Education                                              
 Taught health education for 33 years                                                 
 30 post graduate hours in REBT                                                        
 Primary certification in REBT and REBE                                                              815-353-5312 cell
 75 hours past Masters                                                                                          815-344-6115
 Represents the Chicago Institute for REBT                                         
 Motivational-Educational Speaker
 "Tool Time" group leadert
 Adjunct Professor - International Renewal Institute

                             State and National Award Winning Nature Photographer  (

No One Upsets You, You Upset Yourself.  It's Your Choice How You  
Want to Feel  $1.99
 (click on image to link to
Whenever I speak, or run workshops or groups, I always make a few simple but important promises to those in attendance.  I
promise to teach them:

1)  How to have real power and control in and over their lives
                                         a)  How to choose whether they are going to get upset or not
                                         b)  How to feel the way they've always wanted to about themselves
                                         c)  How to feel as good as possible regardless of what happens
                                         d)  How to keep other people out of their heads
                                         e)  How to defend themselves against anyone who's been living there for too long
                                         f )  How to stop behaving in unhealthy, self-defeating ways
                                         g)  How to have their best shot at having the life they've always wanted
                                 2)  To be
smarter than other people in some very important ways

The "tools" I give people can do these things.  However, they have to practice using them to realize their full potential.  It's just
like becoming a good carpenter, plumber, mechanic, doctor or anything else.  It takes practice.  
I believe we should teach these "tools" to all our young
people as they go through school.  These "tools" would be
a major ounce of prevention worth many pounds of cure for
all mental health, health, social, behavioral and academic
problems and issues that student so often struggle with.  I
believe these "tools" should first be given to every new and
current teacher for their sake, and the sake of their
Presentations and Workshops
Ray Mathis
The further into discipline we get, the more positive it
should become.  The exact opposite usually occurs in most
families, schools, and society.  Teaching the "tools" could
be a way to make discipline positive.  They should be
taught to all troubled and troublesome young people,
especially those in alternative schools or who are
incarcerated.  They just want
In Our Schools
The "Tool Time" Approach to Discipline Problems
choices for themselves and others.  The key to how people
feel and what they do is what they choose to think about
themselves, others, life, and what happens to them.  
Thoughts cause feelings, not events, and attitude is always
the father of behavior. The "tools" help them get there.
approach to therapy.  Dr. Ellis always said therapy should
be educational, and education can be very therapeutic.  
Once teachers see the value of these"tools" in their own
lives, it will be much easier to enlist their expertise and help
in teaching the "tools" to students in age appropriate ways.  
Teaching these "tools" to students should be approached in
the same way we approach teaching reading and writing
across the curriculum.  They are as, if not more important to
success in school and in life as reading and writing.
the same kind of life they've always seen others have.  
They've just never known how to get that for themselves.  
Many lose hope.  The "tools" can help them have the life
they've always wanted.  To read more about what this
approach entails, click here >
TOOL TIME for troubled and
troublesome students
Why a Tool Kit?
Imagine someone who day after day uses furniture or
equipment that has loose screws, and therefore is not as
stable as he would like. And this person does not own a
screwdriver, and is not all that familiar with tools of any
kind. There’s also some piece of furniture he has always
wanted to build for himself, but it uses a lot of screws to
hold it together. Suppose you gave him a screwdriver. My
guess is that he would tighten all those loose screws he
comes across day after day, and finally build that piece of
furniture he has always wanted.

A lot of people have things in their lives that are broken and
need fixing. By broken I mean they have thoughts and
feelings they don’t like having and their life is not what they
would like it to be. Others might even jokingly say they have
some "loose screws" that need tightening.

When you fix anything, or build anything, there are only so
many tools you can use. There’s an old saying in the
building trades that “Any job is easy if you use the right
tool”. The same is true when people have something
broken in their lives, and struggle with thoughts and
feelings they don’t like having. Or, want to have a better
life.  There are only so many “tools” available, and if you
use the right ones, it’s fairly easy to fix what’s broken, and
build something better.
When I took 30 hours of grad classes in Rational Emotive
Behavioral Therapy (REBT), my instructor for all of those
classes was a practicing REBT therapist in the Chicago
area named Terry London.  Terry used to always say his
classes were “cheap therapy”. He was right. He gave me
“tools” from REBT, and I was able to tighten all those
proverbial “loose screws” in my life, and build a better life
for myself.  I believe other people can do the same if they
are given the same “tools”.

I gave those same “tools” to my students for much of my 33
year career as a health education teacher, and for seven
years since as a speaker. The "tools" worked for them as
well as they did for me. Teaching the "tools" to them helped
me a lot. Over the years, I started calling the ten "tools" the
“Mental and Emotional Tool Kit for Life”. Each "tool" in the
"tool kit" plays an important role, and compliments the
others. You can read about each on this site.

I can’t fix what might be broken in your life, or build some-
thing better for you. Only you can do that. But I can give you
the “tools".  I’m betting it will be like giving that person
above a screwdriver. Just like it was for me.  With practice,
you could get pretty good at using these “tools”, just like
carpenters, plumbers and electricians do with their tools.  
You could even pass them on to others.